saccharine days

This space almost reeks of earthy musk and gauzy, filmsy, silver cobwebs are already stretched across the crevices of this blog.

Life seems to be getting a head start over me. Since i nearly vanished from my own sunny little island (exaggeratedly) to the land of red telephone booths and buses, Big Ben and Epping forest, and the royal family and the pound. Ate a slice of Middle-Eastern Pie in Dubai, was awestruck by the architectural profligacy of the country.

Hopped onto a jet-plane back home to see the apple of my eye, sweated it out on an island far from home for two days before jet-setting off to a country where i could not speak mandarin to save my life. Am extremely appalled at my abysmal mandarin speaking ability. it is time to salvage my mandarin *cough* prowess and be imbued with some asian pride so that my immediate ancestor, gramps, will not be disgusted with his little granddaughter. China was eye-opening for a firstie although lung-cancer inducing natives were literally blowing carcinogenic clouds of vapourised nicotine and chemicals in my face but Banyan Tree was her saving grace for the impeccable service made me feel like a princess, even when diarrhoea struck and the bathroom was my nest.

Visited my favourite cousins in Sydney once again, a day after, and that... will be covered in detail with more pictorial evidence.

Been chased by life all of twenty twelve, but life, i am catching you up! In the form of academic excellence and consistency and mediocrity shall not be in my dictionary come next term. I can do this.

My sleep deficiency has been manifesting itself in the form of grey pockets beneath my eyes.

I have had the time of my life this weekend with my favorite boy. I love him so much !!!

Time to regurgitate the definitions of caesura and assonace and sibilance and the likes.

2012 resolution: To give my Jesus the best time of my day and to grow closer to Him.

i wish you would cease your meddlesome ways and stop persisting. i'm fine without your concern and cards, thank you very much. i'm sorry if you spent 2 days making a card. So what if i like receiving them in general? You should know better that it is now inappropriate. if anything i wouldn't want it to be from you. you were a friend, don't make yourself a foe, will you?

To my former nemesis (who is hardly one, come to think of it), stop trying so hard ;) cut yourself some slack.

life's been nearly perfect, and it's now time to work hard for my A levels :)

thank God for you, now.

been disappointed way too much, cried buckets, bit my lips a billion times and nearly gave it all up. fear overwhelms, and trust issues haunt me. may all this be worth it this time around :) it's a new slate, and i hope it stays this way.

and i need to start curbing the seepage of negative comments about the past into my mind that incapacitates me (and maintain a cheerful disposition)

because oh, who are YOU? (someone with no decency to speak of, probably)

on another note,

pet peeve: people going apeshit crazy about kpop and displaying their kpop paraphernalia on every surface possible. and no thanks, i would not like to read about your lesbian/homosexual fantasies about them, and then condemning others who fail to indulge in such nonsense. grow up, my dears, will ya?

and here i am, seeking solace in the realm of the world wide web. 

the feeling of asphyxiation propels me to a state of helplessness and cluelessness.

what do i do now?

driven to frustration, imbued with pain and welled up in tears. 

as much as i want this to pass, this hurt is way too deep. forget about how screwed and unprepared i am for the exams.

that aside, it only dawned on me today that I've found such a friend in you, and your presence would be dearly missed. may you have the best experience ever in the UK 

I want you forever, forever and always
Through the good and the bad and the ugly
We'll grow old together
Forever and always

what you mean to me

this place has been untouched for so long because I've been journaling in my diary.

the tips of my fingers are rosy as ever because i just finished practicing the guitar and boy am i satisfied with myself!:) amongst the other songs i've learnt of late, the most recent is What you mean to me by Starstruck! Don't JUDGE. i love disney and i don't care what you think

national day is tomorrow and i'm so thankful for the much needed holidays!!! Jc is literally driving everyone up the wall. It's almost as if it picks you up, flings you across the room which subtends you in mid air for a couple of split seconds, causing you to crash face down and just as you thought it was over....it kicks you to a desolate corner and pours some dark, viscous syrup on your head. like a monster, yes. like you. i kid:D or a delusional psychopathic spinster. 

the rigour is driving me nuts because tutorials are piling up, and with each strike on my to-do list another sms comes sailing into my inbox telling me I've got another lit assignment to do, or chem practical worksheet or a yet another gp essay. and then, more than 3 times a week we have to endure the econs lecturer's verbal diarrhoea. it's nothing personal, by the way. we must overcome this and do well on our own accord :( 

but anyway thank God for my friends. they're all pretty awesome. if they aren't they won't be my friends because i have gone through enough bullshit this year to discern who are worthy of keeping in my little pocket. i get a warm and fuzzy feeling in me when i know people care, and they're in the same circumstance. 

i'm thankful for morning worship because i'm always reminded that God will supply me with the strength i need! what an awesome way to start the day. 

current verse i live by:

Galatians 1:10" Am I now trying to win the approval of human beings, or of God? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ."

before i leave to attempt to get down to some serious studying and chemistry,

pictorial journalism from the last two months:

USS on the eve of my birthday. by the one who took a billion videos and pictures of me prancing without my knowledge 

birthday. some of my favourite people.

:) 

the cutest baby ever. Myra my honeybunch!

on saturday, she pointed to her cousin kate and told me this:

myra: "Clara, this is my friend!!!!"

me: "HI MYRA!"

myra: "SHE NAME IS KATEEE!"

i laughed like crazy while she continued looking at me.

me: "myra, it's her, not she!"

myra: "OH! her name is kate!"

how indescribably adorable. <3

taken by the apple of my eye.

my round and brown baby in her toddler car.

You're my Honeybunch, Sugarplum

Pumpy-umpy-umpkin, You're my Sweetie Pie

You're my Cuppycake, Gumdrop

Snoogums-Boogums, You're the Apple of my Eye

And I love you so and I want you to know

That I'll always be right here

And I love to sing sweet songs to you

Because you are so dear

now, chemical energetics.

Enchanted

i've never been happier, and more thankful for everything in my life. this post is going to be pretty brief because my eyelids are weighing a tonne.

Thank you, my dearest God, for every single thing you've blessed me with. For every experience, for every trial and every tribulation, for priceless moments that imbue me with such happiness; for new snippets and snapshots of May and June that i could happily safe-keep in a corner of my memory. 

It's when i count my blessings, that I realize how blessed i've been, and it really changes my attitude towards people who have done me wrong.

I've learnt so much this year, more than i had ever expected, or could fathom. I've grown and matured in various aspects ( i don't care if anyone rebuts this) and i'm actually thankful for that. This is not to say that i can stop growing in my faith or maturity (pretty inevitable to stop growing in this aspect..:p). 

When i turn 18, i want to do even more for Christ.

I want to reflect His loveliness and be more like Him.

and forgiveness is the first step for me. I'm taking baby steps, but i'm getting there :) 

heck, make that when i turn 17 years and 355 days. which is...

now.

p/s: God is never lazy. therefore i've got a lot to do.

i took a risk, and i'll never look back.

Your eyes whispered "have we met?"
Across the room your silhouette starts to make it's way to me
The playful conversation starts
Counter all your quick remarks like passing notes in secrecy
And it was enchanting to meet you
All I can say is I was enchanted to meet you